the past 2 days i have had the joy of experiencing a Khmer wedding! i feel so very lucky! i was invited by my Cambodian friend to come to his cousin's wedding, an hour outside of town. my fellow American friend, Andrew, who has been like my big brother here and helped me find my job and introduced me to these people, took me on his motorbike. it was so nice to get out of town, i'd forgotten again how much i love traveling, seeing new places and people. along the way we saw a huge ancient temple, similar to Angkor Wat, minus all the tourists. in fact, the monks still live in this temple, and it has a huge moat around it, nestled in a little hiding spot in the jungle. it really is mind blowing to see these places that are so old, and you would normally only see on the Discovery Channel or something....
anyways, we got to the little village where our friend, Kou, grew up. all the houses are on stilts, and they are just one big open room up top. the first day of the wedding is for family and close friends, so we all spent the day hanging out in hammocks and meeting everyone. once again, pretty much only Kou spoke English, but the more i'm around that the more i like it. no awkawrd annoying question asking to get to know each other. plus, i find it even more interesting to learn each person's personality without talking to them, you can actually really learn a lot about them! we were staying at Kou's mother's house, we called her Mama. she truly was the epitome of a sweet old mama, taking care of all of us. then there was his wife, Jana, and their 2 children. also, his sister and brother in law, who we called Brother. Brother turned out to be one of my favorites, quite the instigator! always trying to get us to drink more, eat more, dance, etc., and always laughing and smiling. Andrew and Kou told me how during the war he was one of the guys who worked the machine gun, and he was missing a finger. its crazy to see the effects of such a recent war, it isn't something i'm used to. you hear about things like that all the time, but when you see, and know, people who lived through it, have scars from bullets, are missing limbs, eyes, family members, etc, it becomes so much more real. and to see these people, so happy, never talking about it, its amazing! they are so grateful to be alive, and they don't look back. like Kou's father was killed in the war by one side, and his wife is from the other side, but there is no hate! she is accepted and loved as faimly just like anyone else. its a beautiful thing to see, and a big part of what has changed me in Cambodia.
so, the tents are set up outside of the bride's home, with colorful tables and banners and such, and ridiculously loud music, that never stops for the entire 2 days. and it is seriously loud, you can hear it throughout the entire neighborhood! i am already starting to recognize some of the songs and try to sing along, i like it. the music is different than any other i've heard, yet sometimes they throw in a little Britney Spears and the like. its cute to see the whole family dancing to some dirty rap music, while Andrew and i look at each other like if only they knew....ok, so now maybe you can imagine somewhat what this scene looks like. there's also a red carpet with chairs lining the sides. we are all invited to come sit down. they bang on a gong and the bride and bridesmaids come out, all in matching lime green genie pants sequined outfits, and the bride with big hair and a bigger tiara. so beautiful! definitely more exciting than a white dress....her mother is in bright pink sequined-ness, dragging her it seems by the arm down the isle while the bride laughs, much less formal than a typical wedding. also, everyone is talking and kids are running around everywhere, some naked. i really enjoy the lack of formality and organization. what fun is it to act proper and try and keep everyone in line and have things try to go in perfect order? so then the bride and groom (groom in longsleeved asian style shirt and pants, also lime green) go to a round table at the end of the red carpet and sit, amongst many tacky bright colored fake flowers and things, and a monk chants into a microphone undistinguishable things. the bride and groom say things i cannot understand to each other, and then a silver platter containing a comb, scissors, and perfume is passed to one/two people at a time. the people with the tray go to the front to take a picture with the bride and groom. eventually i am handed the tray, and paired up with a young man and we go to the front. i feel really silly and unsure of what to do, while people giggle at me. it seems i am supposed to pretend to cut the bride's hair and spray the tops of their heads with the perfume, while we are photographed. apparently it has something to do with a tradition where they actually used to cut your hair, something symbolic like starting a new life. i sure wish i could have that photo....i go to sit down, but another young man would like to be in a photo with me, so i do it again. all the people laugh, and all the other young men are now jealous they were not in a photo with the foreighner. not to worry, later i am pulled into many various family photos. these people are incredibly excited to have me as their guest, and often fight about who's table i will sit at, who will pull out my chair, who will ask me my name, until another one kidnapps me to their table. at dinner i sit at a table with a family of a mother, 2 daughters, one 17 and one 6, and 2 sons of similar ages. the mother took a liking to me and brought me to sit with her family. the older son, maybe 14, speaks a little bit of english so they have him asking me questions, like where are you from, how old are you. they all laugh when none of us can understand each other. what else can you do, really? then the boy says my mother wants to take you to the market on her motorbike. i am not sure why, so i ask Kou if its ok to go and he says its fine, so off we go, the rest of the family waving goodbye enthusiastically and laughing. we pass the market, and she actually takes me to her girlfriend's house to show me off! the faimly is eating dinner, and they all stop to greet me and look at me and discuss me in their language. we cannot speak to each other at all, so i just smile, and when its time to go wave goodbye. this woman was so proud to have me on her bike around the tiny town, everyone looking. i guess i just helped greatly improve her status! we go back to the wedding, and we dance some and hang out. i learned to wait to dance until i am sure i want to, because once we start Brother will not let anyone stop. it doesn't matter if i''m tired and sit down, i am immediately pulled by the arm back to the dancefloor! everybody gets down, grandmas, kids, babies, pregnant women, police officers, etc. once i am tired i sneak away with Mama, there's no chance of saying goodnight and getting away. Mama takes me back to her home, hands me a flashlight and a bowl and pushes me into the outhouse/bathroom, where she instructs me to shower (meaning, use the bowl to dump rainwater from the basin onto yourself). i don't really want to, its been raining so i'm wet anyways. i stand in there for a few minutes, observing spiders and the whole in the ground you pee in. off to bed, a bamboo mat on the floor under a mosquito net. a little girl comes in and starts playing with my hair. at first i was irritated and sleepy, but she was sweet so i sat in front of the mirror while she put pink lipstick on me and powder on my face and pretends to take a picture of me. i find my last friendship bracelet i made, and tie it on her arm . huge smile! now we are friends. usually i'm not that into kids, but there's something about this one. i love her! she is maybe 8-10, i'm terribly at guesing children's ages. i get out my book and we draw pictures until everyone else comes in to sleep. wow, that's alot of people sleeping on one floor.....but i am happy this way, feeling i belong to the family already. i sleep wonderfully, listening to the rain and thunder and wind in the palm trees.
i awaken at 7 am to the sound of the blasting music and Brother saying morning Tina!!! (thats what they call me, derived from Kristina) apparently everyone has been up and i missed the part of the ceremony where we walk the newlyweds around the neighborhood to show off. now its time for breakfast, rice and soup, yum! after a few hours its lunch, more rice and soup, and vegetables! not like anything i've had before, but quite delicious. i hang out with my other family, the one with the mother that took me to show off, and the kids dress me in their mother's nice clothes and take pictures with me, and we all laughed. and now i have a new sister, Dina, who is 17. next i find my little girl friend from the night before and watch cartoons and Khmer music videos with her. i think this little girl reminds me of myself as a child, hanging ouy by herself quietly, not all that interested in the festivities. i enjoy being with her and not having to talk or be looked at or laughed at or anything at all. i feel she is the only one who didn't do any of these things, she just seemed to accept me immediately. we have an understanding i think. then its time for all the other guests to arrive, and we go to our table and eat more food, whole friend fishes, beef and pork form the cow and pigs they killed the day before, and vegetables and cashews. at this point the bride has changed outfits atleast 4 times, all very beautiful and brightly colored. now everybody is really getting down, and we have a big dance party. around 5 they shut the music off and everyone is gone, but we shortly move the party to another wedding down the road. before we go i am again taken into the bathroom by my sister Dina, who puts a piece of fabric around me and tells me to take off my dress and squat down. she pours water all over me. they really want me to be washed here. at first it seems strange, but it starts to feel nice to be washed by another person, its a special kind of bonding. imagine if we did this to a guest in America! we are much to awkward to shower with our own family members, let alone a random stranger!
by this point i am a regular family member with my crowd, and when we show up at the next wedding the people seem extra confused by me, holding my family's babies, dancing with Brother, cheers-ing each other (chull mui!). everyone has a look of confusion and perhaps envy that they don't have foreigner guests. i acquire yet another potential suitor (you have boyfriend? no. i want to marry!) we all dance, until Andrew and i decide its time to go back to Siem Reap, since i have to teach in the morning. i was sad to leave my families. my sister and her family told me they loved me, and miss me. i hope to see them again! if i didn't have to work i would have stayed all weekend! riding the motorbike back to the city, under the stars and trees, smelling the sweet jungle smells, i thought, wow, i'm in Cambodia! that's crazy! what a wonderful time i just had!how am i doing this??
now, back to the daily grind. i'm missing my family, and the jungle. seeing other foreigners on vacations seems overwhelming. i'm used to speaking broken english (I GO SLEEP, MY NAME TINA) and talking to other people here seems like too much now! plus i feel kind of bored and lonely here, with all the backpackers coming and going while i have been here awhile. i'm wondering what to do next.....i have some potential ideas and opportunities up my sleeves.....but for now, i'll just watch the sunset on the roof with the people from the computer next to me (from Virginia as well!) and the 2 guys from Finland i've known a few days now. i guess it will just have to do....just kidding it doesn't get much better!
coming up tomorrow....i'm modeling in a fashion show to benefit the orphanage!
anyways, we got to the little village where our friend, Kou, grew up. all the houses are on stilts, and they are just one big open room up top. the first day of the wedding is for family and close friends, so we all spent the day hanging out in hammocks and meeting everyone. once again, pretty much only Kou spoke English, but the more i'm around that the more i like it. no awkawrd annoying question asking to get to know each other. plus, i find it even more interesting to learn each person's personality without talking to them, you can actually really learn a lot about them! we were staying at Kou's mother's house, we called her Mama. she truly was the epitome of a sweet old mama, taking care of all of us. then there was his wife, Jana, and their 2 children. also, his sister and brother in law, who we called Brother. Brother turned out to be one of my favorites, quite the instigator! always trying to get us to drink more, eat more, dance, etc., and always laughing and smiling. Andrew and Kou told me how during the war he was one of the guys who worked the machine gun, and he was missing a finger. its crazy to see the effects of such a recent war, it isn't something i'm used to. you hear about things like that all the time, but when you see, and know, people who lived through it, have scars from bullets, are missing limbs, eyes, family members, etc, it becomes so much more real. and to see these people, so happy, never talking about it, its amazing! they are so grateful to be alive, and they don't look back. like Kou's father was killed in the war by one side, and his wife is from the other side, but there is no hate! she is accepted and loved as faimly just like anyone else. its a beautiful thing to see, and a big part of what has changed me in Cambodia.
so, the tents are set up outside of the bride's home, with colorful tables and banners and such, and ridiculously loud music, that never stops for the entire 2 days. and it is seriously loud, you can hear it throughout the entire neighborhood! i am already starting to recognize some of the songs and try to sing along, i like it. the music is different than any other i've heard, yet sometimes they throw in a little Britney Spears and the like. its cute to see the whole family dancing to some dirty rap music, while Andrew and i look at each other like if only they knew....ok, so now maybe you can imagine somewhat what this scene looks like. there's also a red carpet with chairs lining the sides. we are all invited to come sit down. they bang on a gong and the bride and bridesmaids come out, all in matching lime green genie pants sequined outfits, and the bride with big hair and a bigger tiara. so beautiful! definitely more exciting than a white dress....her mother is in bright pink sequined-ness, dragging her it seems by the arm down the isle while the bride laughs, much less formal than a typical wedding. also, everyone is talking and kids are running around everywhere, some naked. i really enjoy the lack of formality and organization. what fun is it to act proper and try and keep everyone in line and have things try to go in perfect order? so then the bride and groom (groom in longsleeved asian style shirt and pants, also lime green) go to a round table at the end of the red carpet and sit, amongst many tacky bright colored fake flowers and things, and a monk chants into a microphone undistinguishable things. the bride and groom say things i cannot understand to each other, and then a silver platter containing a comb, scissors, and perfume is passed to one/two people at a time. the people with the tray go to the front to take a picture with the bride and groom. eventually i am handed the tray, and paired up with a young man and we go to the front. i feel really silly and unsure of what to do, while people giggle at me. it seems i am supposed to pretend to cut the bride's hair and spray the tops of their heads with the perfume, while we are photographed. apparently it has something to do with a tradition where they actually used to cut your hair, something symbolic like starting a new life. i sure wish i could have that photo....i go to sit down, but another young man would like to be in a photo with me, so i do it again. all the people laugh, and all the other young men are now jealous they were not in a photo with the foreighner. not to worry, later i am pulled into many various family photos. these people are incredibly excited to have me as their guest, and often fight about who's table i will sit at, who will pull out my chair, who will ask me my name, until another one kidnapps me to their table. at dinner i sit at a table with a family of a mother, 2 daughters, one 17 and one 6, and 2 sons of similar ages. the mother took a liking to me and brought me to sit with her family. the older son, maybe 14, speaks a little bit of english so they have him asking me questions, like where are you from, how old are you. they all laugh when none of us can understand each other. what else can you do, really? then the boy says my mother wants to take you to the market on her motorbike. i am not sure why, so i ask Kou if its ok to go and he says its fine, so off we go, the rest of the family waving goodbye enthusiastically and laughing. we pass the market, and she actually takes me to her girlfriend's house to show me off! the faimly is eating dinner, and they all stop to greet me and look at me and discuss me in their language. we cannot speak to each other at all, so i just smile, and when its time to go wave goodbye. this woman was so proud to have me on her bike around the tiny town, everyone looking. i guess i just helped greatly improve her status! we go back to the wedding, and we dance some and hang out. i learned to wait to dance until i am sure i want to, because once we start Brother will not let anyone stop. it doesn't matter if i''m tired and sit down, i am immediately pulled by the arm back to the dancefloor! everybody gets down, grandmas, kids, babies, pregnant women, police officers, etc. once i am tired i sneak away with Mama, there's no chance of saying goodnight and getting away. Mama takes me back to her home, hands me a flashlight and a bowl and pushes me into the outhouse/bathroom, where she instructs me to shower (meaning, use the bowl to dump rainwater from the basin onto yourself). i don't really want to, its been raining so i'm wet anyways. i stand in there for a few minutes, observing spiders and the whole in the ground you pee in. off to bed, a bamboo mat on the floor under a mosquito net. a little girl comes in and starts playing with my hair. at first i was irritated and sleepy, but she was sweet so i sat in front of the mirror while she put pink lipstick on me and powder on my face and pretends to take a picture of me. i find my last friendship bracelet i made, and tie it on her arm . huge smile! now we are friends. usually i'm not that into kids, but there's something about this one. i love her! she is maybe 8-10, i'm terribly at guesing children's ages. i get out my book and we draw pictures until everyone else comes in to sleep. wow, that's alot of people sleeping on one floor.....but i am happy this way, feeling i belong to the family already. i sleep wonderfully, listening to the rain and thunder and wind in the palm trees.
i awaken at 7 am to the sound of the blasting music and Brother saying morning Tina!!! (thats what they call me, derived from Kristina) apparently everyone has been up and i missed the part of the ceremony where we walk the newlyweds around the neighborhood to show off. now its time for breakfast, rice and soup, yum! after a few hours its lunch, more rice and soup, and vegetables! not like anything i've had before, but quite delicious. i hang out with my other family, the one with the mother that took me to show off, and the kids dress me in their mother's nice clothes and take pictures with me, and we all laughed. and now i have a new sister, Dina, who is 17. next i find my little girl friend from the night before and watch cartoons and Khmer music videos with her. i think this little girl reminds me of myself as a child, hanging ouy by herself quietly, not all that interested in the festivities. i enjoy being with her and not having to talk or be looked at or laughed at or anything at all. i feel she is the only one who didn't do any of these things, she just seemed to accept me immediately. we have an understanding i think. then its time for all the other guests to arrive, and we go to our table and eat more food, whole friend fishes, beef and pork form the cow and pigs they killed the day before, and vegetables and cashews. at this point the bride has changed outfits atleast 4 times, all very beautiful and brightly colored. now everybody is really getting down, and we have a big dance party. around 5 they shut the music off and everyone is gone, but we shortly move the party to another wedding down the road. before we go i am again taken into the bathroom by my sister Dina, who puts a piece of fabric around me and tells me to take off my dress and squat down. she pours water all over me. they really want me to be washed here. at first it seems strange, but it starts to feel nice to be washed by another person, its a special kind of bonding. imagine if we did this to a guest in America! we are much to awkward to shower with our own family members, let alone a random stranger!
by this point i am a regular family member with my crowd, and when we show up at the next wedding the people seem extra confused by me, holding my family's babies, dancing with Brother, cheers-ing each other (chull mui!). everyone has a look of confusion and perhaps envy that they don't have foreigner guests. i acquire yet another potential suitor (you have boyfriend? no. i want to marry!) we all dance, until Andrew and i decide its time to go back to Siem Reap, since i have to teach in the morning. i was sad to leave my families. my sister and her family told me they loved me, and miss me. i hope to see them again! if i didn't have to work i would have stayed all weekend! riding the motorbike back to the city, under the stars and trees, smelling the sweet jungle smells, i thought, wow, i'm in Cambodia! that's crazy! what a wonderful time i just had!how am i doing this??
now, back to the daily grind. i'm missing my family, and the jungle. seeing other foreigners on vacations seems overwhelming. i'm used to speaking broken english (I GO SLEEP, MY NAME TINA) and talking to other people here seems like too much now! plus i feel kind of bored and lonely here, with all the backpackers coming and going while i have been here awhile. i'm wondering what to do next.....i have some potential ideas and opportunities up my sleeves.....but for now, i'll just watch the sunset on the roof with the people from the computer next to me (from Virginia as well!) and the 2 guys from Finland i've known a few days now. i guess it will just have to do....just kidding it doesn't get much better!
coming up tomorrow....i'm modeling in a fashion show to benefit the orphanage!
Oh Tina! Are you coming to Bangkok on the 19th? Miss you! Great post! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteWow! Loved the long post about the wedding! Can't wait to hear what you're up to next! Wish tickets weren't so expensive this time of year!
ReplyDelete